


Great Expectations

by NeopetsKid



Series: HLVRAI One-Shots [1]
Category: Half Life, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Autistic Character, Best Buy, Canon Typical Violence, Graphic Description of Corpses, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Unreality, Nightmares, Not A Game AU, Other, Post canon, Pre-Slash, Team as Family, They/Themrey, is that a tag, me coming up with incredibly specific lore, uhh what else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27021181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeopetsKid/pseuds/NeopetsKid
Summary: Several months after Black Mesa, Gordon begins to have stranger dreams than normal.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Series: HLVRAI One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974760
Comments: 22
Kudos: 169





	Great Expectations

Gordon had always expected that Benrey would come back.

It wasn’t like anything had successfully killed them before. That, combined with the skeleton he caught sight of at the impromptu birthday bash at Chuck-E-Cheese (a well known and respected  _ restaurant _ ) had convinced him that the enigma of a security guard would simply show up one day in Gordon’s dingy two-bedroom apartment.

He had held onto this belief for months after the incident at Black Mesa. He held on as Bubby and Coomer got married, as Tommy got a job at the local animal shelter, as he slowly recovered and his nightmares slowly faded to a manageable trickle. Spring bled into summer and summer into fall. Life moved on as it had before.

Gordon has established a routine by the time things began to shift once more. Black Mesa had given him more hush money than he knew what to do with; after paying off his loans and making some deposits into Joshua’s college account, he found himself buying a gaming laptop, a headset, and a twitch prime account. Most days after tutoring struggling physics students, he would settle down at his desk and choose a game to play, his prosthetic hand barely hindering him after months of practice. 

Maybe it was some sick joke the universe had in mind when it turned his world upside down once more. On the first fateful night he saw them again, Gordon had just wrapped up his Goat Simulator stream.

He turned off his computer, letting out an exaggerated yawn as he glanced at his phone. 12:23 AM, six missed messages, and 42 Twitter notifications. Pulling up his messages, he winced as he found all the texts had all come from Leyla. 

Gordon set his phone aside, crawling into the warm embrace of his bed. That was a problem that future him would deal with later.

As per usual, his journey to unconsciousness took a while. He tossed and turned, almost falling asleep and then jerking back awake. It was impossible to tell how much time passed, but when the warm depth of sleep consumed him, Gordon sank into it willingly.

  
  
  
  
  


The dream was odd to begin with.

For starters, Gordon knew it was a dream to begin with. He  _ never _ dreamt lucidly, though he often wished he did so his nightmares wouldn’t scare him quite so much. When this dream began, Gordon was acutely aware of the unreality of the situation.

Secondly, his surroundings were ill defined. Not fuzzy or unclear in the typical dream fashion, but low quality, as if seen through an old computer program, grainy and untextured. 

And lastly, Gordon was in a Best Buy.

Unease trickled down his spine as he looked up and down the aisles. Unsure of what to make of his predicament, Gordon chose a direction at random and began walking.

His footsteps echoed on the floor. The fluorescent lights illuminated the area with its harsh glow. There was a near constant buzzing noise coming from an area impossible to locate. Gordon lasted for what felt like two minutes before concluding that despite being so vacant, this store was the worst sensory experience to be stuck in.

His solitude didn’t last forever. As he rounded another corner, he spotted someone moving quickly towards someone else, muttering something, then leaving as soon as they came when the other didn’t reply.

“Hey-!” Gordon called out, but the figure was already gone. Confused, he walked up to the other person.

“Hey, do you know-”

Gordon stumbled backwards as soon as he began his sentence. The person, the  _ thing _ in front of him was clearly dead, skin sunken, eyes glassy and unmoving, and the all too familiar scent of rotting flesh filling the air around it. Gordon gagged, eyes watering as he recoiled, unable to look away. Whatever this thing had been, it clearly hadn’t been human. The arms were too long, practically dragging on the ground, the skull bottom-heavy and falling apart, the body bloated and hairy. It looked far more defined and real than any of the aisles surrounding it; it’s pores were  _ visible _ .

  
  
  
  
  
  


Gordon woke with a start, eyes burning with the image of the half humanoid corpse. Sitting upright in a swift motion, he gasped for air. He fumbled for his phone and checked the time.

5:41 AM. Way too early to be comfortable, but too late to fall back asleep. Gordon sighed dejectedly, rubbing his eyes.  _ Might as well start the day, _ he concluded miserably. 

He rolled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. Opening the chipped door of the cabinet, he picked out a box of Raisin Bran, sparing a longing glance at Joshua’s far more sugary and delicious picks. 

Chewing absentmindedly, Gordon opened his texts. 

**(Leyla) 5:55 pm: hey gordon, i’m thinking about going on a trip with tai this weekend, think you could watch josh for me?**

**(Leyla) 6:00 pm: if not i can get sophie to do it but i figured you’d want to**

**(Leyla) 7:15 pm: this is kind of time sensitive, pls respond**

**(Leyla) 8:23 pm: i know i should’ve planned this earlier, but i DO need a response soon**

**(Leyla) 8:33 pm: oh you’re STREAMING. got it.**

**(Leyla) 8:34 pm: guess you won’t see this for a while then**

Shit. Gordon groaned through a mouthful of mediocre cereal. 

**(You) 5:53 am: Sorry I missed your texts! I’d love to take care of him. Let me know when I should pick him up.**

Situation salvaged. Hopefully. Gordon quickly switched to Twitter before he could over analyze the messages and indulged himself in some early morning memes.

The morning was almost like any other. He ate, got dressed, and went for a miserable jog before he could talk himself out of it. Once he returned, he made a beeline for the shower.

Relaxing under the warm water was difficult as always. Gordon’s prosthetic hand had to be taken off beforehand, leaving him with only one to clean himself with. Shampoo found its way into his right eye, and as he rubbed it with his stump, it travelled to his left as well. Cursing, Gordon rinsed off his hair as quickly as possible to get his left hand involved in the arduous task of swiping shampoo out of his eyes.

He pulled his hand back, blinking tearily at it as his sight refocused. This close, Gordon didn’t need his glasses to see the fine detail. The damp hair and pruny skin were apparent on his form. 

The sight suddenly slammed into his gut like a freight train as he realized how similar his hand looked to that  _ thing _ in the Best Buy. Granted, he was not a hideous ape monster, but the pores of his skin, the detail of the hair, it was suddenly and grotesquely reminiscent of the corpse he had encountered.

Gordon exited the shower shakily, drying off and getting dressed as soon as possible, determined to rid his mind of that strange dream.

The rest of the day was spent like any other. Gordon met up with a student he was tutoring, dragged himself to the grocery store to replenish his empty fridge, and called Tommy. It was perfectly normal, and if anyone were to ask if he had anything on his mind, the answer would be a resounding “no” as he desperately avoided thinking about his strange dream.

As his microwave dinner finished cooking, Gordon checked his phone.

**(Leyla) 5:47 pm: sorry, i already handed him off to Jessi. you get custody next weekend anyway, hope you can wait til then**

Gordon let out a frustrated sigh.  _ No Josh this weekend after all, _ he thought glumly, taking a mournful bite of mac and cheese.

His meal tasted dull from that point on. He managed to finish about half of it before the sensation began to bother him, and he swiftly put the remains back into his slightly refurbished fridge. 

Settling into bed several hours later was even more of an ordeal than usual, his mind spinning with worries. He tossed and turned as he slowly sank into another fitful rest.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Once again, Gordon found himself in the impossibly large Best Buy. Frustration churned his gut as he let out an exaggerated sigh.  _ Nothing to do but explore, _ he supposed.

Time felt like jelly as he moved aimlessly through the store. Gordon perused the aisles mechanically, his body feeling weightless and slow. He passed by several more ape-like creatures, not daring to look too closely in fear that they too might be dead. In the distance, he could see slowly moving mechanical beings patrolling the area. He decided not to approach them.

Gordon rounded yet another corner, fully expecting to see more endless aisles, only to have a figure crash into them at top speed. He stumbled backwards, catching himself on a shelf as the other fell backwards onto their ass, muttering incoherently. He was about to angrily tell the person to watch where they were going when they looked up, and his world shattered.

It was Benrey. Of  _ course _ it was Benrey. Who else could infiltrate his dreams like this, come crashing back into his life with no regard for his health? Who else would come back from the dead just to annoy him? Who else would concoct such a terrible world for Gordon to find himself in?

The familiar heat of anger bubbled in Gordon’s chest, rising up his throat to fill his mouth with words of vitriol. Benrey beat him to the punch.

“Man… can you  _ stop _ with the cliches? Please?”

All of Gordon’s rage was instantly replaced with confusion. Benrey pulled themself to their feet, pointedly ignoring eye contact and pouting. Cliches?  _ What _ the fuck were they talking about?

He must have said this out loud as Benrey’s displeasure visibly grew.

“ _ This _ , man. Coming out here like that… lame. At least this Best Buy has like… babies and shit. That’s interesting. But you- this  _ sucks _ . Get better disguises,” they huffed.

“Wh-  _ disguises _ ?” Gordon said incredulously. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Before Benrey could answer, he continued, anger returning. “No, it- that doesn’t matter. Is this real? ‘Cause I don’t think my brain could come up with this on its own, this  _ has _ to be you.”

Benrey blinked. “Whuh-  _ no _ . Your Gordon impression stinks, man. Need to work on that. Just… leave me alone. Gotta find the headset.”

They turned away, their body tense. Before they could walk away, Gordon shot forward, running on pure instinct, grabbing them with their left hand and forcibly spinning them around. As he did so, realization shot through him as he  _ felt _ their shoulder beneath his hand- solid and real,  _ impossible _ for a dream.

Benrey looked equally fazed as their eyes widened and a piercing, high pitched tone fled their mouth along with a stream of small, black and jade bubbles. Gordon released them instantly, slapping his hands over his ears.

“Agh,  _ Christ _ dude, don’t  _ do _ that,” he snapped. Benrey just stared at him, mouth slightly ajar. Gordon forced himself to ignore the strange change in behavior and barrelled on. “What are you  _ talking _ about? Fucking- impressions? It’s me you dipshit, who the hell else would it be?”

Benrey continued staring silently. Gordon’s anger fizzed out as he looked down at them. While a decent bit shorter than him, they had never looked so small in Black Mesa. Their eye bags were more prominent than ever, staining their face purple like a new bruise, eyes dull and tired. Their clothes were in disarray, spots of blood marring the surface. But of all the changes in appearance, their body language was the most jarring: closed off, timid, and for once, afraid.

They reached out slowly. Gordon flinched back on instinct, but they persisted, hand resting on his shoulder almost shyly, the pressure nearly nonexistent. The two stared at each other.

“You’re  _ warm _ ,” Benrey said. 

Gordon blinked. “Yeah, humans tend to be that way.”

A stream of sweet voice burst from Benrey’s mouth, too swift for Gordon to see. Of the myriad of orbs he spotted an earthy brown, grey, teal and black and jade again. The song, brief as it was, was frantic and high pitched, with several lower tones beneath the melody. Distantly, Gordon wondered how they were able to produce multiple sounds at once.

The voice lit up the area and the two enemies. Gordon’s head swum as several orbs hit him, producing a multitude of emotions all at once- fear, relief, guilt, and something dull and painful. He shook his head, attempting to physically rid himself of the sensations.

As his head cleared, Benrey’s face fell, returning to a guarded and empty expression, a stark contrast to the emotions they had just professed.

“You can’t be here,” they said lowly.

And just like that, all of Gordon’s frustrations came roaring back. 

“What the hell does  _ that _ mean?! I don’t even know how I  _ got _ here- I don’t even  _ want _ to be here! Why is it just now occurring to you that I shouldn’t fucking be here?!” he yelled, stepping forward and jabbing a finger against their chest.

Benrey flinched backwards, looking away. “Can’t- you can’t be here. Don’t have your passport.”

Gordon saw red. He lunged forward and picked them up by their collar.

“Don’t you  _ fucking _ dare give me that shit, Benrey!” he yelled. “I’ve had enough of your bullshit! You-”

Gordon was forcibly cut off by a burst of strawberry shortcake sweet voice directly in his face. He dropped Benrey instantly as his vision blurred dangerously. As his sight faded and his senses dulled, the last things he saw and heard was Benrey looking behind themself in panic as a loud voice burst out over the Best Buy intercom.

  
  
  
  
  


Gordon sat up with a gasp, body cold as ice and breathing erratic. He slapped his hand to his face, half expecting to feel the residue of the sweet voice. Nothing.

_ Of course. Of course there’s nothing! It wasn’t real!  _ Gordon let out a shaky, half-crazed laugh into his hand. His breathing hitched.

He blinked furiously at the unexpected burning behind his eyes. No. There was  _ no way  _ he would cry over this.  _ Over what? Some stupid dream?  _ Gordon refused.

He would, however, check his phone. 4:12 AM.  _ Fuck _ . Gordon let out a disgruntled groan. Far too early to be up.

He was about to set down his phone when something nagged at him. An itch in his mind that he just couldn’t scratch until he shot off a quick text to Tommy.

**(You) 4:13 am: Hey, let me know if you’re free today, I need to talk to you about something.**

He set down his phone and turned over in bed, wrapping his blankets around him like armor.

The rest of the night was blissfully dreamless. Gordon woke at his 8:00 alarm and forced himself out of bed. He blearily poured himself a bowl of cereal and ate it dejectedly, checking his phone as he did so.

**(Tommy) 7:00 am: Hello, Mr. Freeman! Of course we can talk! (*^ω^*) I’ll be free around 4:00, does that work for you?**

Gordon cursed his past self for reaching out and was about to gently let Tommy down when he stopped, hand hovering above the keyboard. As much as he didn’t want to be a bother, the prospect of having more dreams like he had been experiencing made him nervous, far more nervous than the admittedly nerve wracking conversation with Tommy. He frowned in defeat and sent a quick confirmation that yes, he was free at 4:00 this afternoon.

His day was blessedly busy, two students to tutor, taxes to file, and videos to edit for his main YouTube channel. All the stress of a regular day helped ease his anxieties over his dreams, and time moved at a decent pace with less existential dread to bog it down. 4:00 approached quickly, and as Gordon put on a coat and walked to the park by his house, he felt calmer than he had in days.

The crisp fall air entered his lungs like a cold drink, nudging his mind to be a little more awake. Leaves crunched underfoot as he walked through the picturesque park, absentmindedly watching the people around him. A child ran by, laughing as her father chased her good-naturedly. Gordon tried to ignore the jealous pang in his heart at the sight.

Tommy sat on a bench with Sunkist, fidgeting with a handful of leaves. Upon seeing Gordon, he dropped them to wave enthusiastically and hold onto Sunkist’s leash as she perked up and tried to lunge for their new companion.

Gordon couldn’t resist the smile that took over his face. He waved back and approached.

“Hey, Tommy!” He greeted, bending down to pet Sunkist as she attempted to cover him in kisses. 

Tommy grinned broadly. “Hello, Mister Freeman! It’s good to see you.”

“Good to see you too,” Gordon responded. There was a beat of silence between the two that Gordon tried desperately to ignore, busying himself with petting Sunkist.

Tommy cleared his throat. “So um, what- what did you want to talk about?”

Dread sank in Gordon’s stomach. He had been expecting the question, of course, but somehow he couldn’t think of a single thing to say in response.

He chose the easy option. “Oh, not really anything in particular. It’s just been a while since we’ve talked, you know?”

“That’s- no, you said you wanted to talk about something. Something in-in particular. What’s going on?” Tommy prodded.

_ Damn post-nightmare Gordon for showing vulnerability! _ He chuckled nervously, standing up. “Well, I um. I’ve been having… nightmares.”

Tommy’s eyes grew comically wide in understanding. “Oh! I-I get nightmares too, Mister Freeman!”

A mixture of relief and pity swept through Gordon. “Oh, I’m sorry, Tommy. It sucks that you have to deal with that too.”

Tommy shook his head vigorously. “Nothing to be sorry for! It’s just- it’s what happens after something like what we went through.”

“Yeah…” Gordon muttered. Time to bite the bullet. “But I. I’ve been having  _ really _ weird ones lately. Like, really realistic ones. They feel  _ real _ .”

Tommy made an inquisitive noise. Gordon barrelled on.

“Like I’m in a Best Buy, but it’s super low-res. Feels like I’m just in a picture taken in the 2000’s. And there’s these weird ape things around the store- one of them is dead. And it’s like,” Gordon made a noncommittal gesture with his hands, “ _ visceral _ . Like seeing the bodies at- at Black Mesa.”

Tommy hummed. “That- that is weird! I’m sorry you dream like that, mine aren’t- I guess my brain isn’t as creative as yours.”

“No it- it doesn’t feel like I’m making them,” Gordon insisted, fiddling with his prosthetic. “It’s not like my other nightmares. It- Tommy this sounds stupid but I think it’s real.”

Gordon glanced at the other man. He wore a troubled look on his face, equal parts concerned and trying to analyze what the dreams could mean. 

A moment of silence passed between them. The crisp fall air rustled their sweaters and drove leaves past them in a frenzied dance. Sunkist sniffed a particularly interesting leaf when it settled at her paws. 

The words caught in Gordon’s throat finally broke through. “Benrey was there.”

Tommy blinked. He opened his mouth to speak, but Gordon continued.

“They were in the Best Buy. And they  _ talked _ , Tommy- people don’t talk in my dreams. I grabbed them by the shoulder and I could  _ feel _ them, it was  _ real _ .”

“...Mister Freeman, they’re dead.” Tommy said gently.

“They- they said it themself, they’re not human! They never died beforehand, why would that be different now?”

“Mister Freeman, this-this might just be your subconscious wanting- wanting them back.”

“I don’t  _ want them back! _ ” Gordon said loudly. Several park-goers gave him odd looks. “They cut my arm off!”

“No they d-didn’t, that-that was the military! And you-you liked them, I know you did.”

“What difference does it make! They’re the one who sold me out!” Gordon said, refusing to dignify the second claim Tommy made with a response. “There’s  _ no way _ this is just my subconscious.”

Tommy fell silent, seemingly lost in thought. Gordon followed suit, shuffling his feet awkwardly. Tommy wrung his hands. Gordon avoided eye contact. Sunkist ate a leaf. 

Finally, Tommy spoke.

“I-I’ll ask my dad what he knows about this. You’re right, nothing killed-killed them before. It’s possible they’re alive.”

Relief swelled in Gordon’s chest as fear sank his heart. Relief for Tommy’s trust, his guidance and wisdom that he had always respected. And fear for the possibility that he could be  _ right- _ that Benrey could be alive. Most of Gordon didn’t want that to be the case.

But some small portion of him, a treacherous sliver of his mind disagreed. Part of him didn’t  _ want _ to have killed them. Gordon assumed this was due to the guilt that had consumed him after taking any life; Benrey was no different. As shitty as they had been, he hadn’t wanted to kill  _ anyone _ .

“Y-yeah. Thank you so much, Tommy, it means a lot for you to… believe me I guess,” Gordon said.

Tommy smiled softly, eyes crinkling fondly. “Of-of course Mr. Freeman. That’s what friends are for!”

Friends. Such a simple word could tear Gordon’s heart out and rebuild it all at once. They  _ were _ friends, weren’t they? Him and the Science Team. They had been to hell and back and emerged as friends, even through the bloodshed, the betrayal, and the battles. 

And so the two friends shared a morning in the park together, catching up and making small talk. In the middle of a normal fall day, the two men found solace in each other’s company.

The peace was never meant to last, of course.

  
  
  
  
  
  


The third time Gordon entered the Best Buy, several days had passed between his meeting with Tommy and his next nightmare. It had been a productive few days, though wrought with anxiety. He had gotten Bubby and Dr. Coomer in the loop as well, and they had responded with their own form of support. Dr. Coomer had cheerfully reminded Gordon that he would fight to the death for him, while Bubby made a snarky remark that only thinly veiled his concern. 

While bolstered by his friends, nothing could prepare him to enter the department store once more.

The fluorescent lights immediately overwhelmed his senses. Squinting, he looked around. The aisles were as indistinguishable from one another as always, stretching on forever. Gordon looked up and down the one he was standing in and chose a direction at random, striding down at a decent pace.

It took much longer than the last two times to find them, even if time seemed nonexistent. Gordon passed by each strange ape like figure at least twice as he tried to track down the elusive annoyance haunting his dreams.

When he did find them, he did a double take. They were sitting on the ground, looking dejected as they fiddled with what appeared to be a vape. Their knees were pulled to their chest, their helmet dented, and their entire form splattered with spots of blood.

Gordon walked slowly towards them. Benrey looked up.

“Oh, this again,” they muttered.

Gordon knelt next to them, not missing the way they recoiled slightly. “I’m real,” he promised, putting a hand on their shoulder. “It’s not a disguise.”

Benrey looked at his hand with dampened surprise, blinking slowly, as if just remembering how. “Huh.”

They looked up at Gordon, face blank. They opened their mouth, a familiar glow beginning to form.

Gordon slapped a hand over their mouth before they could blast him with sweet voice. “Nope, not letting you do that!”

Benrey looked startled, eyes wide. They didn’t attempt to bite Gordon’s hand, however, so Gordon considered this move to be a resounding success.

“You’re not waking me up until you answer some questions, man.” Gordon said firmly. “Got it?”

Benrey just looked at him, expression inscrutable. Gordon sighed.

“I guess that’s a yes,” he muttered, removing his hand from their mouth. Several small blush colored orbs escaped their slightly parted lips, which they promptly smacked out of the air with a speed that made Gordon flinch. 

He took a deep breath. “Ok, first things first: where are we?”

“Best Buy.”

Gordon slapped a hand to his forehead. “I can fucking see that, but  _ where _ is this Best Buy? I don’t think I could find a place like this in a regular city.”

Benrey scrunched their face up. “I don’t, uh. Know.” They admitted.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I just don’t know, man. Somewhere in the Void, I guess. There’s not a map with a- with a fucking You Are Here sticker on it,” Benrey snapped.

Gordon held his calm in a chokehold, determined to get answers out of them. “Ok, then  _ why _ are you here? I thought you died!”

“I did,” they said. “Can’t stay that way, though. Sucks.”

They fidgeted with their clothing. Gordon followed the movement of their hands to their sleeves, which were torn and bloodied. Benrey idly fiddled with the torn edges with one hand and scratched at their arm with the other.

Gordon tore his eyes away. “Ok,” he said. “So why are you here? In a Best Buy specifically?”

Their scratching turned into a vice grip on their forearm. “Not your business,” they muttered.

“It’s very much my business! I keep getting stuck here when I dream and I’d like to know why! So why. Are. You. Here?”

Benrey dug their nails into their arms, not speaking. Gordon looked at them steadily, stubbornly pressuring them with his gaze. Looking at the blood soaking their clothing, he idly wondered how much of it belonged to them. He firmly buried that thought as soon as it occurred to him.  _ That doesn’t matter, _ he told himself. 

“The thing,” Benrey finally spoke.

“What thing?”

“Thing like me,” Benrey muttered, “He didn’t like that I- that I failed. ‘Nd I don’t have my passport, so he gets to do whatever.”

“There’s other creatures like you?” Gordon inquired, intrigued. While his time at Black Mesa had been hell, he had secretly been interested in the alien species he and the Science Team came across, mentally taking notes on the various creatures they encountered. Although biology wasn’t his field of study, Gordon couldn’t deny the urge to learn as much as he could about alien life forms.

“Yeah. They suck, though. Big… bads. Not very cool.”

Gordon’s heart sank. There goes his plans for studying the Benrey-like species. “Ok, so there’s someone keeping you here, then. Is he why I keep dreaming about you?”

Benrey huffed out some air in a sad attempt at a laugh. “I don’t- I don’t know. Seems like that might just be you… being gay. Gayass.”

Gordon inhaled deeply, counting to ten.  _ I will  _ **_not_ ** _ strangle them, _ he told himself firmly. “Yeah, sure,” he agreed stiffly. “Just me being gay. Gaydon Freeman.”

Benrey barked out a laugh. “You- man you’re making this too easy. Gaydon Freeman. You just gave yourself something else for me to call you. Idiot.”

They giggled, body relaxing an iota. The death grip on their arm became fidgeting once more.

Gordon looked at them stupidly. He had never heard them  _ giggle _ before, like some sort of embarrassed teenager. It was so much lighter and softer than the previous bouts of harsh laughter that bordered on maniacal- this was almost… cute.

_ Nope _ ! Gordon instantly shut down that train of thought, forcing himself to focus on the mission at hand. Find Benrey, get information, and leave.

“...You mentioned that the guy keeping you here didn’t like that you failed- what did you mean by that?” He pressed onwards.

Benrey’s chuckling cut off abruptly, face once more becoming a stone mask. “Wha?”

Gordon continued, undeterred. “Don’t play dumb, I know what I heard. You said he was mad that you failed. What did you fail at? Did you have some sort of mission? Is that why you betrayed us?”

They shifted uncomfortably. “...Yeah, basically.”

Something hot and vile rose in Gordon’s throat at the admission. “So all of Black Mesa, all the  _ bullshit _ you put us through, it was ‘cause you had some mission? You were going to betray us from the start?!”

Benrey didn’t respond, back to picking at their skin. Gordon blinked back tears furiously, chest white-hot with outrage.

“What happened to that shit about being friends, huh? Was that part of the mission too?” Gordon asked, fuming.

Benrey looked up at him, a tinge of panic entering their expression. “No- I didn’t-“

Gordon outright laughed at them, the sound tearing out of his throat with the force and malice of a punch. “What am I  _ saying _ , of course that wasn’t part of the mission! As if you could ever succeed in making me  _ like _ you!”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Gordon desperately wished he could undo them. An instantaneous and deafening silence slammed down between the two, both unmoving. Gordon’s heart raced with adrenaline as he looked down at the other. Benrey was looking somewhere in the distance, eyes unfocused and glassy. Their form was deathly still, claws stuck in their arms and body slumped against the aisle. As Gordon frantically tried to come up with something to say, “I’m sorry”, “I didn’t mean it”,  _ anything _ , the only coherent thought he kept coming back to was comically simple:  _ that was  _ **_mean_ ** _. _

Luckily for him, time didn’t wait for his apology. A loud crackling blared out from overhead, followed by a calm female voice. 

**“Unauthorized presence detected in the Best Buy. You will be hunted for sport.”**

Gordon jumped, looking around wildly for any incoming enemies. Benrey, similarly distressed, chose the obvious solution: they grabbed Gordon’s face and blasted him with sweet voice, sending his consciousness spinning away, almost instantaneously pulling him from the dream.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Gordon sat up with a gasp, heart pounding. Echoes of the voice over the intercom rang in his head.  _ What was that? Was it the creature Benrey mentioned? _ Gordon’s thoughts ran a mile a minute, each more inconclusive than the last. A less addled portion of his brain thought to ask of the waking world, wondering what time it was.

He fumbled for his phone. 5:16 AM.  _ Dammit _ . Too late to go back to sleep. Gordon squinted at the sun peeking through his blinds, rolling onto his side to look at his phone.

He scrolled mindlessly through various apps, busying himself with nothing. Occasionally, something would catch his eye, some wording of a meme or tweet that made his mind jump somewhere he didn’t want it to. Somewhere deep underground, some dark room, some endless maze of aisles. Each time he wrenched himself from the spiral of thoughts with force, firmly avoiding each memory.

Hours passed in this manner, the sun steadily creeping up the sky, coating his body in warmth. Gordon’s eyes avoided the time as he basked in the lazy morning.

The serenity was shattered by a text from Tommy. Gordon’s gut clenched; he swiped the notification away guiltily. He resumed scrolling, the presence of the text looming in his mind. Finally, the anxiety became too much to bear and he opened his messages.

**(Tommy) 8:22 AM: Hello, Mr. Freeman! (*´∀`)♪ I talked to my dad and we figured out some stuff about Benrey. Would you like to meet up at my house and we can discuss the details?**

Gordon’s anxiety only increased upon reading the text.  _ What the hell does “figured out some stuff” mean? _ His mind began to race at the possibilities. 

His hands didn’t wait for his mind, luckily. He typed out a quick affirmative before delving back into his worries.

The morning passed swiftly, despite his anxiety. Gordon soon got out of bed reluctantly, ate a bowl of cereal, and brushed his hair and teeth. Spitting toothpaste into the grimy sink, he looked up at the mirror.

_ God, I’m a mess, _ Gordon observed. Taking a brush to his head had done little to tame the wild flyaways. Deep circles were etched under his eyes like tattoos, aging his face like he had been to war.  _ I might as well have been, _ he thought bitterly, wiping his mouth. His eye caught the several silver hairs that had been infesting his scalp as of late and resisted the urge to pull them out. 

Gordon glanced at his phone. 11:25 AM.  _ Time to leave. _ He huffed a sigh through his nose and tied his hair back.

Grabbing his coat, Gordon stepped out into the crisp air. Breathing in the sky like a parched man drinking water, he made his way to Tommy’s house. Leaves crunched underfoot as he purposefully aimed to step on them, feeling a burst of childlike satisfaction at each target hit. 

The streets led him away from his apartment at the edge of downtown and towards the suburban areas. Houses became larger and more elaborate as he went on. Grand doorways and clinically clean lawns soon overtook the area, replacing the chipped paint and cracked sidewalks of the previous neighborhood. Gordon stuffed his hands in his pockets, unease growing as the houses became more perfect.

At last, he arrived at Tommy’s house.  _ Mansion, more like, _ he thought bitterly, looking at the display. Tommy’s house sat on the corner of two wealthy streets, surrounded by similarly picturesque homes. 

Gordon pulled out his phone to stall. Opening Twitter, he made a valiant effort to look as though he was texting someone should anyone see him standing there, a strange man in front of a mansion, and suspect the worst. A voice in the back of his head reminded him that the odds of people confronting him over this were small, but a louder, more anxious voice continued to worry.

The door opened after the fourth refresh of his timeline. Gordon looked up, eyes widening as Bubby glared at him from the other side of the doorway.

“Are you just going to stand here forever? Get a move on!” He snapped. 

“Bubby- what are you doing here?” Gordon asked, bemused.

Doctor Coomer popped up behind Bubby and shoved him out of the way. “Ah, hello Gordon!” He greeted cheerfully, opening the door wider. “Why don’t you join us?”

Gordon blinked, then shoved his phone back in his pocket and half jogged up the stairs. “Hey, Doctor Coomer,” he greeted as he crossed the threshold. “Wha-“

A large, furry mass interrupted him, slamming into his torso with the force of a truck. Gordon fell backwards, hitting the ground with a slam as Sunkist made it her mission to cover every inch of him with kisses.

Gordon spluttered, gently pushing her away and grimacing at the saliva she left on him. As he wiped it off, Tommy and his father walked into the room.

“Hello, Mister Freeman!” Tommy greeted cheerfully. His father-  _ G-Man, wasn’t it? _ \- inclined his head in salutations.

“Hey, Tommy,” Gordon replied, standing back up. 

He opened his mouth to ask about what was going on, but Tommy beat him to the punch. “S-so! I asked my dad what he- what he thinks is going on with Benrey.”

“Why do we care?” Bubby interjected, leaning against a small table with a very expensive looking vase on it. “That bitch betrayed us.”

“So did you, Bubby!” Doctor Coomer pointed out. Bubby made a face and stood up straight, knocking over the vase in the process. It shattered upon hitting the ground with a deafening crash.

Gordon winced. Tommy didn’t look upset in the slightest. G-Man remained inscrutable.

“Yeah, you both betrayed us, but we still got you back! Benrey deserves the same, I-I know they do,” Tommy said confidently.

Gordon was about to point out that  _ no, they really don’t deserve that, _ when G-Man cleared his throat. Four pairs of eyes fell upon him in an instant.

“If you… wouldn’t mind, I have. Acquired some information… which may be. Of use to you.”

The room was silent. G-Man continued.

“Benrey is… of a very rare and. Powerful species from, the Void. A place… not many go to. The species draws… their power, from, owning their names… having, identification.”

Gordon blinked. Identification…  _ wait a fucking second. _

“Hold on, does that mean that this whole time, Benrey’s weird fucking obsession with passports is because that’s where they get their  _ powers _ from?!” Gordon half yelled. 

“No shit, Einstein!” Bubby snapped. “Shut up and let the man finish!”

Gordon almost yelled back, but something large and warm pressed up against him. He looked down to see Sunkist looking up at him, compassion somehow showing in her soulful, doggy eyes. He closed his mouth and pet her, relishing in her smooth fur.

“Any…ways. The person Benrey mentioned may be… another of this, species. Hence why, they are stuck. You all have, destroyed their… source of power, yes?” G-Man continued. “You, tore their passport… to shreds. They are, powerless. This means other members… of their species may, exert power over them as they please. I do not, know the extent of… these powers, but, it would explain why, they are stuck.”

“Oh dear, that doesn’t sound good!” Dr. Coomer said cheerfully. Bubby’s frown made his wrinkles even more pronounced.

Gordon pet Sunkist. Her fur was silky smooth and hypnotizing to run his hand through. With every pet he kept himself tethered to the moment.

“No, it’s not!” Tommy said. “Which is w-why, we’re going to- to get them back!”

Gordon had been expecting this, of course, but his traitor heart still skipped a beat.

“Yes… I can, make a portal for… you all. I can...not join, though… I have to, keep the portal… open from this world,” G-Man said. 

“Isn’t there a hostile alien god on the other side, though?” Gordon asked, hand stilling on Sunkist. “We might have to fight him.”

“Well then we’re going to do just that!” Bubby crowed, the shattered vase on the ground setting ablaze. 

Dr. Coomer stomped it out quickly. “We’ve fought alien gods before and lived to tell the tale! There’s nothing we can’t handle.”

Gordon shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah… you guys will handle it great.”

Tommy blinked at him. “Wha-what do you mean? You’re coming with us!”

Gordon barked out a humorless laugh. “No way, man, I’d be useless. My gun arm is gone,” he waved his prosthetic for emphasis “and I’m the only non-enhanced human here. I’ll wait back here.”

“Bullshit!” Bubby yelled. Gordon flinched. “We can’t go without the whole team!”

“I seem to recall you being quite formidable with a gun, Gordon,” Dr. Coomer said. “Your presence will aid us all!”

“Guys I’m serious-“

“We’re serious too, Mister Freeman!” Tommy said, wringing his hands. “We want you there!”

Gordon looked at the four men staring at him. Three were adamant about their desires and one would likely never voice his at all. Something resigned but still painfully stressful sank in his stomach, leaving him suddenly too tired to argue.

“... Okay,” he said. “But if it gets too dangerous, I’m leaving. I can’t leave Josh without a dad.”

This seemed to appease the others. Bubby mumbled something rude under his breath and Dr. Coomer punched him in the arm. Tommy’s face brightened and he clapped his hands together.

“Great! I’ll get us some supplies.” Tommy rushed out of the room instantly, leaving the four others to stand in relative silence awkwardly. G-Man remained impassive while Bubby began muttering to Coomer, who would respond in his usual, booming voice.

Gordon fidgeted with his jacket, rubbing the fabric between his fingers.  _ I haven’t even seen Josh in a week… what if that was the last time I ever get to see him? _ The fabric between his fingers was worried further as his anxiety spiked. 

Tommy burst back into the room with an enormous box in his arms, cutting off Gordon’s impending panic attack as he shoved those emotions into the back of his head to focus on the present. Tommy dropped the box with a loud  _ thunk _ and grinned at the others.

“Weapons!” He said, grabbing a rifle to demonstrate, pointing it directly at Gordon, who flinched visibly. Tommy blinked, looking at the rifle, and seemed to realize his error, lowering it to the ground.

Dr. Coomer immediately dug through the box, tossing guns haphazardly out. Bubby picked a few off the floor but didn’t choose one. The deafening noise of Dr. Coomer’s looting stopped just as suddenly as it had begun as he triumphantly pulled out a comically large machine gun. 

“The Big One!” He declared. 

Bubby picked up a discarded knife and pocketed it. Tommy grabbed a few guns and put them all into what should be a small coat pocket. 

Gordon looked on, still fidgeting. Tommy took notice of his hesitation and put a pistol into his hands, clasping them together with his own.

“It’s gonna be okay, Mister Freeman!” He reassured the younger. “You can always back out.”

But that wasn’t true, was it? Through all the strife and blood and tears of Black Mesa, Gordon had not faltered.  _ An object in motion will stay in motion unless acted on by an outside force, _ he recited internally. Gordon couldn’t,  _ wouldn’t _ back out of anything once he started. He would crash and burn before he hesitated.

“Yeah,” he replied, cracking a smile. “I know.”

G-Man cleared his throat. The four others turned to him.

“Alright… gentlemen,” he began. Gordon spotted Bubby rolling his eyes exaggeratedly. “We are, free to go… whenever.”

Three pairs of eyes swiveled towards Gordon. With a start, he realized they were waiting for his word. After all this time, all his weakness and blunders, they still considered him the leader.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. “Yeah. We’re ready.”

G-Man got to work without another word. Clapping his hands together and slowly spreading them in front of a doorway, a green rectangle pulsing with energy grew as he moved. When his arms were fully spread, the crackling light filled the doorway completely.

G-Man stepped out of the way, still holding his hands towards the portal, energy sparking from his fingertips. He inclined his head slightly at the group.

Gordon took a deep breath, his body tensing as he prepared to walk through when Tommy sprinted in front of him, passing through the portal instantly.

Gordon exhaled heavily, huffing a laugh. Behind him, Dr Coomer spoke up.

“Gordon, we should get a move on! At this rate we should make it through the portal in an hour.”

_ Ok, now he’s just fucking with me. _ Gordon took another deep breath and walked forward, forcefully willing his body to cooperate. As he passed through the gateway, however, nothing could stop his full body shiver at the unpleasant sensation of being teleported.

  
  
  
  
  


Gordon tipped forward, his heart skipping a beat as the sensation of missing a step jolted him. He managed to land on his feet, and walked forward a few steps so the others didn’t bump into him.

Sure enough, when he turned around Bubby and Dr. Coomer followed in quick succession, each sticking the landing in a way that made Gordon admittedly a little jealous.

“Fuckin’ hate portals,” Bubby grumbled. “Gets my hair all frizzy.”

“Well, good thing there isn’t much to be frizzled, my good bitch!” Dr. Coomer responded cheerfully, punching Bubby in the arm. 

“Mister Freeman, are you- you sure this is the right place?” Tommy asked ahead of him. Gordon turned back around to survey the area.

It was certainly the same hellish Best Buy as before, but all the lights were off. The aisles were only lit up by the electronics displayed on them and a strange, glowing trail of pink liquid on the floor.

“Yeah,” Gordon confirmed, stepping next to Tommy and putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m not sure why the lights are off but this is definitely the place.”

Tommy looked at the ground, face twisting at the glowing liquid. “We-we should get going.”

“Let’s move!” Bubby crowed, brandishing his knife. 

Gordon shushed him loudly. “ _ Fucking shut up! _ ” He hissed. “ _ This place has at least one enemy alien god that we know of and we don’t want it knowing we’re here! _ ”

“ _ Now Gordon, we should get a move on! _ ” Dr. Coomer stage whispered. Gordon slapped his hand over his face and groaned.

“ _ Fuckin’ Black Mesa all over again… _ ” he muttered, stepping in front of Tommy. “Ok, we’re going to follow this track. It’ll either lead us to Benrey or an enemy. If it’s the latter… you know what to do.”

His three companions made faces of worrying bloodlust. Gordon chose to ignore them and started walking.

His footsteps were far too loud against the floor, echoing back at him as if to mock his journey. Bubby and Dr. Coomer were similarly distressingly loud to Gordon’s already stressed out stare. He couldn’t hear Tommy at all.

The group passed by a corpse and a strange, broken machine. The corpse was similar to the others: vaguely human but not quite enough, hairy, and bloated. The machine had strange spiked hips and long cylindrical limbs. The head was ripped clean off.

A large splatter of the glowing liquid covered the machine. With a sickening drop in his stomach, Gordon realized that the liquid must be blood. The metallic scent of it hung heavy in the air around the shining pink stains.

Gordon swallowed hard, tearing his gaze away from the dismal scene. “Let’s keep going,” he muttered, returning to his task of following what he now suspected was a blood trail.

The echoing of the group's footsteps hammered away at his skull in time with his rising heartbeat. His grip on his pistol became sweaty. He controlled his breathing consciously, keeping his body in line as his anxiety skyrocketed.

The group of four rounded a corner and came to a sudden halt. Slumped up against an aisle of phones and covered in glowing blood was the very person the group was looking for.

“Benrey!” Tommy cried out, rushing forward.

Benrey’s head shot up, wild eyes taking in the scene before them. They lurched upright haphazardly and stumbled backwards.

“Fuck  _ off _ !” They yelled, clutching their head. Dimly, Gordon wondered where their helmet had gone. “Get out!”

Tommy faltered, a crushed expression taking over his face. “Benrey?” He asked, sounding near tears.

“Stop it!” Benrey yelled, hitting their head with the heel of their hand. “Stop pretending to be them!”

Tommy made a confused noise. Gordon pushed him out of the way gently, and approached Benrey carefully.

“Dude, it’s me,” he said slowly, raising his hands in surrender. Benrey flinched, shaking their head wildly. “It’s Gordon. We’re here to get you out.”

Benrey raised a shaking hand, about to hit themself again when Gordon grabbed their hand with his own. His left, flesh and blood hand, burning hot against Benrey’s cool skin. 

Benrey’s head shot up, wide eyes meeting Gordon’s. “It’s me,” he repeated. “See? Real hand.”

They looked at his hand on their own, completely silent. After a few agonizing seconds, they lowered their arms and stepped forward. Gordon stayed still as they gently bonked their head against his chest, tension visibly dissipating from their body.

Some deep pit of anger cracked in Gordon’s chest as he looked down at them. His rage, his resentment faltered under a tidal wave of worry and pity as he looked at his former enemy, bruised and battered and shaking against his body. 

Damn his bleeding heart. 

Tommy came to their side, gently peeling them away from Gordon. “Oh no, wh-what happened?” He asked quietly, looking at their bloody form.

“It looks like you’ve come down with a case of The Shivers!” Dr. Coomer remarked loudly.

“They’ll be fine,” Bubby said. “I’ve seen them recover from stuff like this within hours.”

Several questions popped into Gordon’s head, all of which he ignored as he surveyed the damage. Benrey had a large gash on their abdomen, the source of most of the glowing blood. Their knees were scraped clean through their pants, and several other minor injuries were within immediate sight. Their eyes were shining dimly, far duller than the usual light. They looked at Tommy while he fussed over them with a dazed expression, as if still questioning the reality of the situation. 

“Can you walk?” Gordon asked, uncomfortable with the silence.

Benrey turned their head to him slowly. “Huh-yeah. Yeah I’m a great. Can walk.”

That wasn’t the most reassuring answer, but Gordon would be remiss if he didn’t take the opportunity to leave as soon as possible. He nodded. 

“Ok. We need to get out of here. Tommy’s dad has a portal open back to Earth, we should get through it as fast as we can.”

“Back to Earth?” Benrey asked, frowning.

“No-not Black Mesa! My house,” Tommy explained.

Benrey seemed to relax at that. Gordon turned around, preparing to lead the group back out when a cold hand grabbed his own. He looked back, startled to see Benrey holding onto him like a lifeline.

Gordon stared at them. “Huh?” They said, not looking him in the eye.

“Excellent idea, Boper! Let’s use the Buddy System!” Dr. Coomer said, grabbing Bubby’s hand. A nearby phone caught on fire.

Gordon sighed. “Yeah, let’s use the buddy system,” he agreed wearily. 

“I-I don’t need a buddy!” Tommy said, pulling a rifle from his pocket. 

Gordon huffed out a laugh, tugging on Benrey’s hand as he led the group back out of the bloodstained aisle. The five fell silent as they backtracked their steps, following the trail of blood backwards to the portal.

The silence surrounded Gordon, crushing him under its weight. Only his breathing and the footsteps of the group could be heard as they travelled through the dimly lit Best Buy. 

Benrey kept their head down the entire time, not looking at the aisles or corpses, pointedly ignoring the bloodied machine as they passed by. Their grip was tight and clammy on Gordon’s hand. It would be uncomfortable had it not been for Gordon’s own anxiety forcing him to hold their hand in a vice grip, a tether to a world outside his own body. 

A faint green glow began to light up the way in time. The group sped up slightly as Gordon unconsciously moved faster with the exit in sight, dragging along a slightly stumbling Benrey as he did.

The glow became brighter and brighter until at last the portal was in view. Gordon’s heart sped up at the sight of the shining emerald rectangle; he had never been happier to see a portal in his life.

Had he stopped to think, maybe Gordon would’ve worried that it was all too easy. Perhaps he would have been afraid to become so excited at the prospect of getting out. Maybe it would have been easier to accept when his hopes were dashed by a figure appearing in front of the exit, a shadow in front of his glowing light of freedom.

It was a skeleton.  _ Of course it is, _ Gordon thought angrily, heart rate rising at the sight. It’s bones were held together by thin wisps of black smoke, shifting and moving even as its form remained still. It tilted its head at the group, silent.

Benrey’s grip on Gordon’s hand became vice like.

Gordon pointed his pistol at the entity. “We’re leaving,” he said, forcefully calm. “You can’t stop us.”

The skeleton raised a hand and pointed at the group. Dread hung in the air as the five held their breath. Gordon could feel sweat trickling down his back, a cold rivulet down his spine.

The skeleton vanished. No puff of smoke, no portal; it simply disappeared. 

“What?” Tommy said, not moving his gun from it’s aim towards where the enemy had been.

“The bitch got scared!” Dr. Coomer exclaimed.

Gordon lowered his gun, hand shaking. “Did he really? Is that- is that it?”

The group fell quiet, contemplating their supposed victory. In the eerie silence, a distant noise could faintly be heard, growing louder with every second. What started as faint sounds grew to a cacophony of clacking noises as the enemy moved closer and became visible.

A horde of skeletons surrounded the group of five, chattering and clattering endlessly. Some held weapons, most of which appeared to be ancient rusty swords and knives. If the stab didn’t kill him, Gordon figured the tetanus would.

The horde advanced on them alarmingly fast. There was no time to talk.

Dr. Coomer reacted first, hefting up his gun and firing indiscriminately at the approaching enemies. The sound echoed horrendously in the store, and Gordon saw Benrey wince and slap their free hand over their ear, still not letting go of Gordon with the other.

Bubby let out a maniacal laugh, jumping into the fight knife first, sinking it into a nearby skeleton’s skull. He ripped it out with a jerk, sending the head of the enemy flying, and dove after another. Spouts of flame could be seen from his general location.

Tommy shot with precision and deadly calm, taking out several enemies within seconds. Gordon backed up against him, firing at any skeletons that got too close for comfort. His prosthetic made his shots clumsy and poorly timed, missing several shots before finally connecting with the enemy.

The enemies seemed to have no end. Each set of bones that collapsed on the floor was quickly replaced, the skeletons appearing from nowhere to take their fallen comrades’ place.

The collective din of gunshots and clattering of bones became too much for Benrey. They yanked their hand out of Gordon’s and pressed it against their other ear, letting out a high pitched stream of sweet voice, hot pink like punch.

Gordon reloaded his pistol with his now free hand and resumed firing. “We need to leave!” He shouted over the noise. “Can someone make a path through the skeletons to the portal?”

Dr. Coomer ran up to his side instantly. “Hello Gordon!” He greeted cheerfully, before dropping his gun. It landed with a massive thud, shaking the floor around it. Before Gordon could ask what he was doing, Dr. Coomer rolled up his sleeves and began punching his way through the horde, clearing a temporary path.

Gordon laughed at the display. He grabbed Benrey by the elbow and dragged them towards the exit.

“Come on!” He shouted, waving at the others to follow. Bubby darted back out of the fray and rushed to his side. Tommy stayed a bit further behind, keeping the skeletons at bay.

“Go!” He shouted when Gordon shot him a concerned glance. “I’ll follow!”

Nodding, Gordon turned his attention back to the path ahead. Dr. Coomer punched his way through like a bulldozer, Bubby shooting off any foes that came too close. The group ran at a half jog, the portal getting closer with each second. Gordon’s heart raced, beating against his rib cage like a trapped animal. They were  _ so close. _

And of course, that’s where it all went wrong.

Gordon’s grip on Benrey’s elbow became a hold on thin air. He looked to his side and found them gone. Turning towards the others to report this concerning new development, he looked at just the right time to see Benrey sprinting forward, launching themself at Coomer and tackling him to the ground, slamming his head against the floor with a sickening  _ crunch _ .

Gordon’s heart stopped. Bubby turned around to locate the source of the noise and Benrey approached him next, attempting to wrestle the knife out of his hand.

Unfortunately for them, they didn’t have the advantage of a surprise attack this time around. Bubby saw them coming and adjusted his stance to take Benrey by the arm when they lunged and  _ threw _ them back where they came from.

“What the-“ Bubby paused to stab a skeleton. “ _ Fuck _ are you doing?!”

Benrey didn’t answer, standing back up slowly. Gordon took the opportunity to sprint forward and  _ slam _ into them, an audible wheeze escaping their lips.

The two fell to the ground. Gordon tried to twist Benrey’s arm behind their back but they elbowed him in the nose. He recoiled, eyes watering. They grabbed his shoulder and attempted to shove him off, but Gordon rolled to pin them beneath him completely, relying completely on his larger stature.

“Wha-“ he began, but was cut off by Benrey opening their mouth, a familiar glow emerging from the back of their throat. He grabbed them by the neck, praying to any god that would listen that their sweet voice relied on their airway being unobstructed.

His hypothesis proved correct when Benrey wheezed, the glow fading. Their hands came up to grab his arms, scrabbling at them with suddenly sharp nails. Gordon grit his teeth at the stinging that erupted on his body and squeezed their neck harder.

“Can’t fucking believe this- we  _ trusted _ you, man!” Gordon shouted. Benrey’s attempts to break free grew weaker, their eyes widening.

Gordon’s eyes teared up, which he chose to blame on his recently elbowed nose, which, if the warm liquid running down his face was anything to go by, was definitely bleeding. “What was the point of all this? Just wanted to get us all together so you could kill us in one go? Is that it?”

Benrey’s hands slowed their attacks on Gordon’s arms, their face quickly changing shade. Behind them, Bubby fended off several skeletons. Dr. Coomer had evidently made good work of the enemies as only a few still advanced on them.

“If you’re going to kill them, get it over with!” Bubby yelled. “We’re wasting time!”

Gordon looked down at his enemy, who was weakly pushing him away. They were glaring at him, sharp teeth bared despite their situation. Their face turned a darker shade under his hands.

He should’ve been ecstatic. Strangling Benrey was a thought he had had far too many times in Black Mesa, and here it was, coming to fruition. Yet Gordon only felt sick, squeezing the life out of his enemy with one flesh hand and one mechanical.  _ Just knock them out,  _ he thought desperately.  _ I can knock them out and we’ll figure this out later. _

Benrey’s glare wobbled as their eyes began to roll to the back of their head, no longer fighting back. Gordon’s resolve cracked, then shattered when they went completely limp. He released his grip on them instantly, hand cramping after the prolonged hold. Gordon stared down at their prone form, dimly wondering at the chances of them still being alive.  _ They can’t be dead. They’re just unconscious. _ He couldn’t bring himself to check their pulse.

The sound of approaching footsteps snapped Gordon out of his trance. He looked up to see Tommy running full tilt towards the group, a small horde of skeletons hot on his heels.

“We need to go,” he said, skidding to a stop. “They’re-they’re gonna-“

He cut himself off with a loud gasp, surveying the scene before him. Dr. Coomer lay face down in the store, completely motionless. Bubby was fighting off several skeletons at once to keep them from hurting him. And right in front of Tommy, Gordon sat on Benrey’s still body, hands half raised and shaking.

“What-What happened?“ Tommy stuttered, eyes brimming with tears. Behind him, the skeletons clattered towards him. One sped up considerably, sprinting at Tommy with a rusty sword. Gordon pointed, about to shout out a warning when the battle ended with one word.

“Stop!”

A shockwave of light erupted from Tommy, instantly vaporizing every skeleton it touched. The light washed over Gordon and the others as well, leaving behind a full-body tingling sensation. All around them, weapons clattered to the floor, no longer wielded by skeletal adversaries.

The light spread across the entire store, illuminating every broken shelf and bloodstained tile. The space the group was in was wide open and covered in various gun and sword marks.

Gordon stared as Tommy wiped his eyes furiously. When he removed his hands from his face, his eyes were glowing a fierce yellow like two twin suns.

“Just st-stop it,” he said, sniffling slightly. He turned his gaze towards Gordon. “What-“

He cut himself off again, shining eyes falling to Benrey. For a second, his face was completely blank. It was soon replaced with an expression seldom seen on him: pure and unfiltered  _ rage _ .

Tommy walked over to the two briskly, his whole body shaking. Gordon stumbled off Benrey, attempting to stutter out an explanation. Tommy shoved him out of the way roughly and knelt next to Benrey.

Palms stinging from catching himself, Gordon could only watch as Tommy stared at Benrey, raising his trembling hands. Golden light shines from his palms, illuminating Benrey’s form further, revealing their pale skin and shining blood. Tommy raised his hands, and  _ plunged _ them into Benrey’s chest.

Gordon’s breath caught in his throat, expecting to see blood and viscera. No such thing appeared as Tommy’s hands simply passed through Benrey’s body like it wasn’t even there. He grabbed something within their chest, and  _ yanked _ .

The final skeleton emerged, ripped from Benrey’s body in a flash of light. Benrey let out a garbled gasp that made Gordon’s stomach lurch as Tommy forcefully took out the entity within.

The skeleton struggled against Tommy, shadow bursting erratically from its joints. Tommy held strong, hands still shining with golden light. He stood up calmly, raising the skeleton with him.

“You-you’re going to  _ leave _ ,” Tommy spat, malice dripping from every word. “And  _ n-never _ come back.”

The store  _ exploded _ with light. Gordon and Bubby cried out, covering their already burning eyes as Tommy’s hands shone like a star. Eyes squeezed shut, Gordon could only listen as the air filled with the horrible sound of bones cracking and an enormous, seemingly never ending inhuman scream. The sound pierced through Gordon’s skull like an ice pick, sending shockwaves of white-hot pain through his body. He could feel his throat become sore as he yelled, but he couldn’t hear his own cries over the sound of the skeleton.

The scream cut off suddenly, the silence crashing into Gordon just as hard as the din had. Head ringing, Gordon hesitantly took his hands off his eyes, blinking away the dark spots.

As his vision cleared, the scene before him came into focus. Nothing but a pile of dust remained of the skeleton. Tommy knelt on the ground, helping Benrey sit up as they coughed violently, their whole body shuddering with each heave. Bubby gently turned Dr. Coomer’s body over and checked him over.

“Is it- is it gone?” Gordon stuttered, rubbing his sore eyes. 

Tommy nodded. “I don’t- I don’t sense it anymore. It’s dead.”

Some great weight was relieved off Gordon’s chest, leaving him breathless. It was  _ over _ .

Bubby snapped Dr. Coomer’s nose back into place loudly. The other three flinched and turned to look at him. 

“It’s easier to do when he’s knocked out,” he muttered, not even looking up at the others.

Some sort of choked, breathy laugh burst out of Gordon’s throat. Tommy giggled, hoisting Benrey upright. Bubby made an annoyed noise.

“You try setting his nose when he’s awake, see how well  _ that _ goes!” He snapped, picking up his husband in one swift motion. Gordon blinked in surprise. Bubby scoffed. “I’m the perfect specimen, of  _ course _ I’m strong as hell,” he bragged.

Gordon stood, legs shaking. His hand still ached, a reminder of the bruises forming on Benrey’s neck. 

“Benrey,” he started, forcing himself to look at them. “I’m- I’m really sorry for, like…” he gestured at them vaguely.

Tommy gave him a look. “Sorry for… strangling you,” Gordon amended. He was being genuine- there was nothing fake about the ache in his heart looking at them. They had to know that.

“...S’okay,” Benrey said, voice raspy. “I had… had scary possessed moment. Y’had to do it. I would’ve done the same to you.”

“Wh-”

“We should go,” Tommy cut Gordon off. “I don’t k-know how long my da- my dad can hold the portal. 

The others nodded. Bubby didn’t hesitate, half sprinting despite carrying Coomer towards the emerald light. Gordon trailed behind with Tommy and Benrey, watching as Bubby disappeared in a flash.

Benrey’s breaths were labored and wet with blood. They were clearly putting most of their weight on Tommy. Gordon considered offering to help, but thought better of it as he watched how hard they were clinging to Tommy. He tried not to think about how it had been him that Benrey had held onto not too long ago.

The three stopped in front of the portal. Benrey looked at it unblinkingly.  _ How can they do that without hurting their eyes? _

“After you, Mister Freeman!” Tommy said brightly. 

“Alright,” Gordon said, stepping forward. He paused, looking at the others. Tommy was covered in dust, eyes still glowing faintly and clothes in tatters. Benrey was barely able to stand, covered with glowing blood and their eyes unfocused.  _ G-Man better be able to pay the hospital bills,  _ Gordon thought, reminded of the sting in his nose.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” he said, turning back around.

Stepping through a portal had never been so relieving.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Gordon’s routine remained mostly unchanged. As fall moved on, more students called on his services, frantically asking for help that was nostalgic in the best of ways. College hadn’t been easy for him either, but he took pride in his work taking off a small amount of stress for others. 

Streaming was a blast as always. A few of his clips had gone viral, attracting new followers and more attention than he knew what to do with. Gordon invested in better equipment, finally getting into VR, although his playthroughs of more obscure games stayed a fan favorite.

He saw Joshua most weekends, each ecstatic to see the other. Gordon would scoop him up as soon as he opened the door, a bout of giggling and half-hearted protests filling the air. Leyla would extend pleasantries before leaving them to catch up on the week. Joshua always had new stories from school and new ideas for his cowboy game concept. Gordon would encourage him, promising to stream it when it was released and absolutely refusing to tell him that Red Dead Redemption already existed.

Life went on as normal, even with the more substantial changes in his life. After the Best Buy debacle, Benrey went to live with Tommy. Visiting them as they were healing was awkward up until the point that Gordon mentioned he was streaming. Benrey’s eyes had lit up and they had begged him to play Heavenly Sword. That night when Gordon obliged, he received a $6.69 donation from johnwicklover1994 with the simple message of “:)”.

Benrey had taken to appearing at his house several nights a week with soda and some excuse to come inside and play video games. Several times they arrived when Gordon was streaming, and simply broke into his house and joined the stream as a particularly annoying guest. Gordon tried to ignore the growing fondness he had for this occurrence with exaggerated frustration. He never denied them when they asked to play, though.

The nights were still difficult. After streaming, or tutoring, or a day off, Gordon would fall into fitful sleep that never felt like rest. Many nights ended with an abrupt jolt into the waking world, gasping as his heart raced over whatever nightmare his brain had concocted. The dreams slowly grew less frequent over time.

He saw the Science Team more often in general. Dr. Coomer would cook something, mustache wrinkling under his slightly crooked nose as he smiled at the others. Tommy always brought soda, and Bubby made rude but helpful critiques about the food.

One night, Benrey arrived at Gordon’s house after midnight. He had opened the door with a baseball bat behind his back, and set it aside when he saw them in the doorway. They laughed and made some excuse for their being there, though their red-rimmed eyes gave them away. Gordon let them in, and the two fell into place easily.

Sitting there on the couch as Benrey played some shitty game on the PS2, Gordon realized with a start that he had been right in his assumption that Benrey would come back. He simply hadn’t considered he would be the one to get them.

Then again, Gordon hadn’t been expecting to  _ want _ them back either.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> HOOOOLY SHIT ITS DONE!! sorry if the pacing is off, since I’ve resigned myself to only writing one-shots from now on the story may have suffered as a result but I Had To write this.  
> Sweet voice translations (not all are used):  
> black to jade= i’m afraid  
> grey to teal= this is real  
> brown like silt= i’m feeling guilt  
> strawberry shortcake= you need to be awake  
> blush= crush  
> dark as wine= i’m feeling fine  
> golden sun= having fun  
> pink to dove= feeling love  
> lots of blue= i hate you  
> pink like punch = this is too much
> 
> In general, messages ending in blue are addressing someone directly using the “you” pronoun. Higher pitched noises are for more intense and in-the-moment emotions (ie, fear, amusement, anger, etc) while lower noises are for duller and longer lasting sensations (sadness, boredom, contentment, etc).
> 
> Thank you for reading! Let me know if I should tag this with some warning I didn’t think about. *wayne sub notification voice* please write comments! Please! PLEASE!


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